Alive.

I give you my heart, covered in scars
Broken and bruised countless times
I'm sure it doesn't even work anymore-
But it's yours.

I give you my body; something I've never treasured
I've mistreated it badly... making it worthless
But now, I give it to you.

I give you my life- full of sin
Nothing in this world is worth living for
When everything hurts you in the end

I give it all to you-
A broken heart. A worthless body. And a sinful life.
In the end- worth nothing but death.

And something happens inside of me...
Something I've never felt before.

I stand- restored. Purified. and Forgiven.

ALIVE.

Oh God, I'm running for you
I loose my breath; this is all too much
I fall down to my knees...
Just to pray that you hear me say-
I want you, and I need you,
and oh, how I love you
No- I cannot live without you
Not anymore- Never again!
What I would do just to see your face
What I would give just to hold your hand
Something stirs in my heart
And I can't help but cry
Not from pain; Not from joy
But from Love.
You love me like I've never been loved
A Love I just don't understand...
Who am I to be loved by you?
Who am I to deserve your blood???

Deleting my myspace soon... here are some old blogs from my page, that I didnt want to loose...

April 30th, 2008- God is Amazing.
Several months ago I was going through a really tough time...
I broke down in church, and prayed to God
"God, please, tonight, break me down...
Grind me down into bits of nothing so you can rebuild me to live for you
and only you.
My heart has been broken again and again
yet I always run back to the source of damage.
Right now I am torn between you and the one person that always distracted me
from you...
And he is the only one who has the power to lead me away from you.
Help me God.
I want to be stronger.
I want to be yours."
Days got worst. I was put through so much pain...
It hurts even thinking about it.
I got angry with God. Thinking, why is this happening?
Why are you making me go through this?
I was going against his plan for me.
And eventually got so hurt... I was grinded down to nothing.
I felt like I lost everything that had ever mattered to me.
So I turned my entire life over to God...
Everything I was going through I gave to Him.
And he opened my eyes to SO much....
I can�t even explain.
And over the past few months since then,
I�ve learned to listen to God... He knows EVERYTHING.
He takes our lives of impossibilities, and does the impossible.
The other day, I had the most amazing experience...
I stood in the same building as the one who hurt me so-
The same one who always had the power to make me believe the things I shouldn't�t.
The one person who always distracted me from God.
Yet, I praised God so hard, I was filled with so much Joy
God was all I could think about.
He had really done the impossible.
And as I praised him, something took my mind back those few months ago...
To that awful night- in which I made that prayer...
Since then I was broken down to nothing,
And God took my hand and helped me to walk again..
In the direction I so longed for- but was never able to fully commit to.
And back when I had made that prayer, I expected something amazing to transform me in that one single night...
And I kinda forgot about it when it didnt happen...
But as I look back now, I see thats exactly what he did...
I just had to Trust him.
I just thought I should share this. I love God SO much. He is everything to me. And if anyone is going through anything at all that they think is too much, please just trust in God. Let him open your eyes to what he has planned for you. Give him all your troubles and worries. See what Impossible things he does with your life. =) I guarantee you it will amaze you.

September 10th, 2008- A Love No One Understands
She had given everything to the one she loved
Always hoping for a ring
Until she saw his love for another-
Shattering her heart into nothing

So many love her, so many care
Seeing her broken pieces like bits of sand
They tell her she's going to be alright
But she knows they will never understand

Another stands watching
Always there yet never seen
He watched her break for the one she loved
Knowing it was time to intervene

As she gains the strength to lift her head
A stranger took her by surprise
Tears rolled down his perfect cheeks
With longing in his eyes

This stranger... he loved her
She didn't understand why he was so kind
He picked her up with all her broken parts
Leaving the ugliest pieces behind

She came to know him as he took care of her
There was a gentleness to his touch
He healed her deepest wounds
Saying nothing, but doing so much

She grew closer to him, and fell in love
knowing she would never again be alone
He pieced her heart back together
Replacing some parts with his own

In his arms she became beautiful
And finally he removed the cast
She was fully healed, but scarred
Bringing back the memories of her past

Tears swelled to her eyes
but he wiped them away with his hands
And that's when she noticed the holes in them
A love she would never understand

Religion

I began reading this artical on 6 different types of religions. The more I read the more distraught I became on the whole religion thing. Religion has never really given me much thought. I am a Christian- that's my "religion". A lover and a follower of Christ.
As I continued reading this artical, the more I thought about it... Why do we have all these 'religions'? The artical was on Southern Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, Episcopal, Assembly of God, and Roman Catholic. Six different religions, all (if I'm not mistaken) classified as Christians. For some reason this really upset me. Since when are Christians suppose to be divided??? I became aware of the face that I have no idea what my church is. Could there be a church that doesn't classify itself as one of the six mentioned, and just be a church for Christians?
I remember awhile ago someone asking me what religion I am. When I answered 'I'm a christian" they looked at me like that wasn't an anwer. They said something like "no, i mean, what are you- Baptist? Catholic?..." If I remember right, the person who asked me this was not a christian. Or if they were they didn't attend a church. I wonder if this is why Christianity confused so many non-belivers and Agnostics.
There is one heaven. One God. One savor. One spirit. One Bible (even though it is interpreted in many different versions). So what is the point of having so many different religions? If we all believe in the same God, and follow the same word, and desire to one day live with our God in Heaven, then why do we split ourselves up? Does that mean only one religion is right? If we are all going to be united as a family in Heaven, shouldn't we come together here on Earth, to love each other. Arn't we all suppose to be one body of Christ? I believe if we all came together, it would be one more step toward changing this world, and help prepare us for eternity.

This is just a thought I wanted to share. I'm not judging anyone for their religion, its just a curious observation of mine.

Finding Jesus.

I was reading in Luke today, and sometimes when a verse or chapter really speaks to me, I will reflect and write about what I just read. Well as I was writing, all these things that I felt Jesus was saying in that chapter just started pouring out onto the paper.

Luke 13:25-27"Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'sir, open the door for us.' But he will answer 'I dont know you or where you come from.' then you will say 'we ate and drank with you, and you taught us in our streets.' But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. away from me all you evildoers!"

To me I took this as Jesus explaining to us, that just because we go to church, listen to the sermon, apply some of the values to our lives, eat his bread, and drink his wine, doesn't make us know him. Jesus wants to be known as a person. He's not going to let strangers into his house. Would we let someone we dont know, that we've maybe seen a few times, into our house to spend the rest of their lives with us?? Jesus wants us to know him, to praise him, to love him. In church, we shouldn't go for socialization with our peers, but to find Jesus Christ. And once we find him, we need to get to know who he is, and allow him to show us what love really is. He already loves us, his love never ends. And to really know him, means our love for him doesnt end when church is over.